The The hypnagorgic state.

The hypnagorgic state Is ‘the point before immediately falling asleep’.

1950's Editorial

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Some work I did recently for a fashion student :)

Lamps.

So, so far in my project i have been investigating the absurdity within fashion. So, I began by removing a visual identity of fashion, removing the glamour, well, of what we would imagine glamour to be like, and glamorising the everyday.

The uncanny resemblance to a fashion image, but, yet does not look like a fashion image. The removal of the glamorous idol, being replaced by a mundane everyday objects such as, in this case, a lampshade.

The comedy within the images establishes a feeling of mockery towards the fashion industry. Surely if we are wearing the clothes, they are, or were once, fashionable. For instance, joggers are fashionable to runners. An evening dress of a ridiculous cost would be fashionable to celebrities. As normal individuals, it is glamorous to feel comfortable. The positions the models are in are, as I would describe, between a pose. They are neither posed or un-posed. They are at a point of movement, a natural one, and the images is capturing this movement which is there as a relation to the everyday.

Preliminary new Shoot.

This was the first shoot of this series, there are obviously faults and things wrong with the images which over the course of the imagemaking they will be fixed.

This is an image I feel is quite successful. The idea behind this - Fashion is an absurd way of expression. The way someone dresses i a way of describing their lifestyle. Over the corse of this project I want to experiment with this idea of the absurd and create images based on this first preliminary shoot.

Reading about Rankin.

"Photographs are a fabrication. All the hair and make-up and styling is a kind of fantasy in how the photographer sees the person. We create scenarios and use lighting, backgrounds and retouching to create an image that is heightened. It's not inherently real. But then, what you are looking for in photographs is something within it that tells you something about the person. That's obviously a subjective viewpoint. I guess it's quite arrogant of me to think my subjective viewpoint is reality, but if I see something that's not particularly attractive, I don't try to pull away from that." - Rankin

I live this idea that fashion photographs are a lie and they are just an interpretation recorded as a photograph.

The moment...

I think, after watching skins, the moment where you tell someone you love them... and the period where you wait for the reply... is the scariest moment ever.

Not knowing if that person will reply with the right answer. I think for me, i worry way to much, if i am to tell someone I love them, i hope for the answer 'I love you' back.

I think from experience, i have told one or 2 people that I love them, and from my heart have genuinely meant it. The time taken between saying I love you back was too long, this is why I am single now.

If I could tell a person I love them. The next time. It will be perfect. I want someone to feel the incredible emotion in which is held on you when you physically love someone. I miss this moment, I miss this feeling.

I'd love to tell someone I love them, that they mean the world to me, and nothing compares.

One day. I will.

This morning, I woke up next to my best friend.

This morning, I woke up next to my best friend. Not my lover. My best friend.

I'd like to apologize for my behavior the last few days/week. I feel like I have been lost in a world. And like someone this morning quite rightly pointed out. Even writing it on here wont fix the issue. But to be honest. This is a way of expressing the way i feel, kind of like a diary. I like the idea that people can see my train of thought, or see a little bit of themselves in my writing.

Today - I still feel lost. The hope of recovering from a feeling of loneliness and abandonment is still not here. IT will return soon and I will be back as happy as larry. To be honest, i guess im kind of selfish, my problems aren't big problems - people are dying - I am still living, but i dont know what this feeling is. It is in my hope - that I will find the cause of the issue and resolve it using feelings and writing.

This morning I even thought about painting. The way you can paint - draw a shape onto a canvas or material. The idea of self expression. When I was younger, when I was ill, i'd have this strange kind of vision... two grey squares and a dark rectangle. The two squares were inside one another, and then the dark rectangle acted like a door. The outside square was a light grey colour and the square inside that one was a darker grey. Whilst these boxes were infront of my face a force of a feeling of falling, everlasting, like a nightmare. This is some kind of expressionist artwork - isnt it?

Anyway, today I woke up next to my best friend, not my lover, my best friend.

I felt safe, I was still scared, but I knew I was safe. I want to apologize for my behavior last night. I do love you, You know I do.